Another lovely weekend

I don’t know what else to say, other than that I have had an absolutely wonderful weekend.

First of all, I should probably start with Thursday night, because that’s where things started to really shape up well for me.

I had gotten a letter sent by FedEx or UPS overnight from my insurance company sometime early last week. Even though it was marked “extremely urgent,” I ignored it. I still hadn’t found my documents that said my lien on my old car was paid off, so I didn’t think it could be anything all that important. 😳

So I opened it and to my very great surprise, it was my check from the insurance company for the value of my now-dead car. Whoops! I guess maybe that will teach me to pay more attention to things marked “urgent.” (But realistically, I know it probably won’t. I’m still in this weird phase of widow brain where nothing is really urgent and everything can wait at least a few days.)

So I deposited that check and now I just have to decide what to do with it. On the one hand, I could completely pay off my new car, which might be a smart thing to do. But I’m also at such a point where I have to think strategically about the best way to manage my money.

It seems to have boosted my credit score a bit to have taken out a car loan, so I don’t know if I might be better served by putting the bulk of the check into a high-yield savings account. Maybe I could make payments on it for like a year or something and let that balance collect interest. I’d have to do some calculations to figure out what will be best for me.

I’ve never had to make decisions like these before. And part of me just wants to tell J, like, “See? Aren’t you proud of me?” I mean, I already got him (in whatever form he was) to tell me that he forgave me for lending so much to my former best friend, because I absolutely felt sick to my stomach over that for so long.

So then Friday, I took Dyl to work for a short 1-4 shift. I came home and showered before I had to pick him up again. I was all ready to leave after I got home with him, so I headed out to Cat’s house.

We had our usual fun. I wore my walking boot over to her house because I’m starting to fear that my foot isn’t healing correctly because I’ve been skipping it so often. But that also meant that I was pretty gimpy (sorry, I know that’s a very politically incorrect term and unfortunately I can’t think of the better way to say it.)

Being so visibly compromised meant that she was a lot more solicitous towards me and almost tried to take care of me, which was sweet for as much as I would allow it, which honestly wasn’t much because I am stubborn as hell, to put it mildly. That’s honestly like the gross understatement of the year LOL.

We had our usual fun yesterday but I had a lot of trouble sleeping and so did she. My sleep tracker said I got like 12 hours of extremely broken sleep and it was not good quality sleep at all. She went out to meet her sister-in-law for brunch and I totally slept through it. She has a very cool relationship with her sister-in-law.

I thought I would explain it some other time but I realized I can just give the short version now. Her sister-in-law was married to her brother. Her brother is a true narcissist so he’s very difficult for anyone to have a relationship with.

Her brother and sister-in-law moved in with her when Cat was raising her son, who’s about Amy’s age. Then, her brother and sister-in-law got divorced for obvious reasons. But she still has a very close relationship with her sister-in-law and I am just honestly happily astounded that such family relationships exist, where they will help out with raising your kid. They even owned a house together for most of the time that Cat’s son was in school.

So anyway. She got back from brunch and I was super difficult to wake up. I just wanted to stay asleep. She finally got me up and we played around a bit and then we went out to look at an office chair that Cat’s thinking of buying for me.

Unfortunately, the chair we saw today wasn’t the one but I had a lot of trouble getting my footing when getting out of the chair and I totally wiped out. Real slick move there, Holly.

Then we got lunch and decided to head up to Oklahoma for more weed. I got the order of what Dyl wanted and he immediately paid me back. Then on our way home, we stopped for a light dinner and then of course we had to make time for more sex LOL.

I’m actually really starting to enjoy having a newer car. My new car has Apple Play, which means that it automatically syncs up with my phone and gives me a really cool display. I like it a lot.

When I came home, Dyl’s girlfriend Sav was over. I hadn’t seen her in a couple months because she and Dyl were kinda taking a break from their relationship. I really missed her and that seemed to be mutual. So I spent a couple of hours talking to her and Dyl, mostly her.

She dated someone else sorta casually while she and Dyl were on their break. They both considered themselves to still be in a relationship with each other but her best friend (who doesn’t like Dyl based on a very outdated impression she got of him in middle school) thought it would be a good idea to try to set up Sav with a friend of this friend’s boyfriend.

It went very badly and he was a total creep to her. He was very much up in her personal space like whoa and was trying to move their nonexistent relationship to another level. So she felt understandably very freaked out to learn that not all guys are respectful like Dyl is.

And meanwhile, Sav’s dad Richard is finally exploring his bisexuality and is on a lot of the dating apps. Honestly, it just sounds like he needs a friend to guide him through this, so I’m going to try to push my way in to help him.

I’m only being a bit pushy because Sav assured me that he’ll be open to it. I’ve already met him plenty of times before and we get along well. I think I’ll go over there this week and see if he wants to talk. I know from experience that when he has someone there who’s interested in what he has to say, he’ll go on and on. LOL It seems to be really good for him.

He’s just a bit shy and a bit overwhelmed by the dating apps. I can relate because they’re a lot. But he’s a great guy. Sure, he’s too finicky for my tastes and he’s a morning person and all that, so I think he can rest assured that I won’t be putting the moves on him.

But I can definitely help him navigate the dating apps. My ultimate goal is to eventually help him find a love match, so he doesn’t have to spend the rest of his life alone. That’s the least I can do, right?

I’m finally starting to feel like I have a purpose for being here and it feels really good. I have all these people that I’ve developed relationships with over the past year since J’s been gone and I can’t help but think that in some small way, he’s responsible for this because it makes sure that I don’t ever feel alone. I am honestly pretty excited about who I might meet and what might happen to me.

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