Swinging low again

I am in a low phase again and I don’t really know how to get out of it.

I miss J so, so much. And I am still not comfortable with being alone. I tried asking a while back on FB how to find the purpose in being alone. While most of the replies I got were kind, I also got the sense that the overall message was just to suck it up. (That may not have been what people intended to convey and I fully acknowledge that my filter is distorted.)

But I can’t seem to just suck it up and move forward with my life. Everything feels so lonely and awful. I still absolutely hate being alone.

I’ve gotten some things crossed off of my to-do list but so far I don’t have any sense of accomplishment from it. Maybe when I get everything done I will feel better.

But I’ll still be alone and I don’t know how that will get better.

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