J is my wing man

Of all the things that I never expected to happen, I think that J being my beyond-the-grave wing man is probably the most surprising.

He predicted that I would have fun with Cat before I even met her. I tried to deny it and canceled my first date with her. But I guess J knew more than I did. And honestly, that’s just weird.

I still feel like I’m dating “too soon” after losing him. And I don’t think that this thing with Cat will be permanent—at least not according to what he’s told me. But it’s a hell of a lot of fun and I’m getting to explore parts of my sexuality that I never did before.

I have to admit that it helps me a lot that he seems to know about this and endorses it. He and my kids and my closest friends are all supportive, which really helps a lot.

I have no idea at all what my future holds, especially now that my grad school has been called into question. But yet (for possibly the first time ever in my life) I’m not trying to control the outcome. I’m just letting life decide where it wants to take me.

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