New friends

I’m not doing a whole lot better yet. I’m still really riding an intense wave of grief. I’m sure that a big part of that is that this weekend is Fathers Day and we decided to do our small, intimate immediate family (and significant others) celebration of J’s life.

I also made it through two rounds of the application process for a remote job with a major insurance company. I still don’t know if I can get up and work standard business hours but I may try yet again.

My application to grad school that I can do online is also finally submitted and it’s for the fall semester. But they said they’ll review my application and IF I’m selected to move on, they will reach out for an interview.

That just sounds way less promising than I expected so I’m going to be pretty nervous until I hear more.

The one really good and positive thing is that I have continued to talk to the woman I was going to go on a date with last weekend, even though I told her I’m really not ready to date yet. She decided it’s still worth getting to know me.

I’ve gotten to know her a whole lot better this week. She said she would be willing to be a non-sexual cuddle buddy and she has done it before but of course we have to meet and see if we’re comfortable together. I am pretty sure I’ll be comfortable with her because I can get a good read on people online but we’ll see if it goes both ways.

I like her a lot. She already seems like she’ll be a good friend. And she’s given me a nickname, which I have not experienced much. She calls me “Hollywood,” which is actually pretty ironic because I’m so not a Hollywood type of person. She was actually surprised that nobody has ever called me that before.

I’m super exhausted this week and tomorrow is going to be an extra exhausting day. I have an in-person appointment with UTSW psychiatry for their treatment-resistant depression unit, which may enable me to try ketamine treatment.

And then after that, I need to take my laptop to the Apple store. I have a new kitten and he’s so adorable and brave and affectionate. But he’s also destructive and he bit the corner of my laptop screen and now my computer display is all fucked up, so I need to get it fixed. It’s going to be a long and exhausting day.

But I only have one more week of Dylan’s driving classes and then maybe I can rest.

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