Cleaning out my closet

Quite literally, I’m cleaning out my closet. For the first time in my life, I have WAY too many clothes.

I realize now that my shopping addiction of last year was not just a reaction to the Abilify but also a coping mechanism for my anticipatory grief about losing J. A lot of the widows in the online support groups I’m in are talking about doing a lot of online shopping to soothe their grief. I’ve already been there and done that, so I don’t need to again.

BUT! I found out that someone I sort of know is in a situation where she has virtually nothing, and she wears a lot of the same sizes that I did (including shoes.)

When I first met her, it was in a Christian “recovery” group that basically applied a loosely-adapted and “Christianized” variation of the 12 steps to solve any of your life’s problems. I didn’t think it worked very well for me and I didn’t complete my step study.

But I met her at those meetings. At the time, she was facing a prison sentence for being around people who were using meth. I don’t know if she herself did or not and it really didn’t matter to me.

And she was also pregnant. We held a baby shower for her, even knowing that she might not get to be with her baby. I picked out one of the nicest and most superfluous things on her registry, a beautiful and very fancy blanket. I figured that it was unlikely that anyone else would get it but I just really felt that her baby girl deserved to have something beautiful, regardless of her circumstances.

She got sentenced to a couple of years in prison and had her baby while she was in there. Her mom (who I think is around my age?) took care of the baby. (Interestingly, her baby’s name is Chloe, just like my daughter.)

Fast forward a couple of years and now she’s out of prison. She’s trying really hard to reform her life. She’s working at a dollar store and just got promoted to manager.

I messaged her last night asking what size shoe she wears, because I had remembered her liking a pair of shoes that I was going to sell. Alas, they’re a bit too big for her, but I do have 3 other pair of barely-worn shoes that will fit her perfectly.

She told me that she had to basically start over with nothing when she got out of prison, so she really appreciated the help. That led me to ask what else she needed and what size she wears and it turns out that I have a lot that I can give her.

She’s a bit taller and skinnier than me so I might even go to Target or Old Navy and pick up a few extra things to give her.

I don’t really know why she’s in my life but I feel very called to help her.

And you know what? It actually helps me, too. Not just in the sense of getting stuff out of my closet but also in feeling less sorry for myself. It always feels so good to help people.

1 Comment

  1. SH says:

    I feel a little less miserable when I can help someone too, and when I receive help (despite my shame around needing help). ❤

    If you’ve clothing that won’t fit her, I notice that charities have difficulty finding office clothing and especially Plus Size clothing for the needy.

    Liked by 1 person

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