I have spent so much time dealing with Miney’s death, my MIL cutting me out of her life completely, and questioning whether or not SIL should come to the memorial for my husband that not only has it brought my grieving process to a halt but it also means that I can’t keep up with anything around my house anymore OR keep up with my article deadlines. I really have to do better tomorrow.
Chloe tried talking to Kris (SIL) tonight and got the same evasive bullshit that I did. She asked in a casual way if she was still planning on coming to the memorial and didn’t get an answer. She also tried saying that she understood how hard it was to be stuck in the middle, with which Kris agreed. And she mentioned how hard it was to hear lies about your family, which Kris completely ignored.
So then I had to deal with a sobbing Chloe for 2 hours, which just broke my heart and made me even angrier.
Chloe said it’s like Sue has cursed one side of her family and now it’s like everything about her dad died with him. She said Sue will continue inflicting damage on sensitive souls until she’s dead, which won’t be soon enough.
I’m going to try to really talk up positive memories of their dad now—which I now can do because I’m not giving Kris or Sue any more space in our lives.
But of course she’s hurt by being disowned. That was the whole point of why Sue did it. And she really didn’t have any grounds other than me making her look bad (which admittedly is a crushing blow for a narcissist.)
I’m going to disinvite Kris from attending the memorial because she’s clearly conflicted anyway. And I’m not going to livestream it like I previously offered but I will send DVD copies to her and Sue, even though I don’t have to. And I’m going to suggest that they have their own private memorial for him (though I doubt that they will because they never cared enough to know him.)
Dyl suggested I send them some of his ashes and hell no. Those are mine. If they were good people maybe I’d consider it but not in this case, not ever.
I do however think it’s really going to be laughably pathetic when they try to find pictures of him without me or the kids (since we’re supposedly dead to them now. 🙄) It will just be a bunch of pictures of him before age 18 and a small handful of ones since then.
But you don’t get to break my kid’s heart and reject her genuine good faith efforts and expect that to be okay. It’s just not. Chloe may have some maturing to do still but at heart she is a really sweet and pure girl.
I am just so, so angry. No one in J’s family can behave like fucking adults and we have to suffer the fallout. I mean, who the hell disowns their daughter-in-law AND grandkids, especially over something essentially so stupid?