How I wish that J and I could take one last vacation to anywhere but he’s clearly not in the shape to do it. (In fact, he’s worried about a doctor’s appointment tomorrow, where they don’t have valets and may not even have wheelchairs.)
Hindsight tells me that the best time to have taken a vacation was around a year ago but we didn’t really feel like we could afford it then, plus the whole world was locked down due to Covid, anyway. In fact, the one place I really wanted to take him—Japan—is still locked for travel.
We had some good times last year and even this summer. We truly enjoyed being in each other’s company, even if we were just in Dallas. Any place we went together was great, even the grocery store.
But I had no way of knowing what was around the corner. Of course, you never really do.
I am so glad that we decided to splurge on bigger gifts than usual for our last anniversary. As it looks unlikely that he’ll make it to this anniversary, last anniversary really was our last anniversary.
We both mentioned earlier that we now realize when was the last time we had sex. Fortunately, it was only a few weeks ago. But sometimes you just don’t know when the last time is truly the last time, period.
I think that if I’ve learned anything from this experience so far, it’s that you should always treat your loved ones like it might be the last time you ever see them.
Maybe other people won’t experience it as a slow, torturous fading like I will. In fact. I think it’s probably, thankfully, not likely to be slow and prolonged at all.
It might be more like suddenly your world is right and then it changes in a split second. You never really know.