So tired

I am just flat out exhausted by everything lately.

I still have to put the lights on the Christmas tree, plus all the ornaments. I don’t think the ornaments will be a big deal but I’m concerned about doing the lights.

I’ve finally got my packages ready to return but I still have to go return them. I also have 3 different stops for pickups to do tomorrow.

Chloe was supposed to have her interview remotely with Starbucks yesterday and they didn’t show up. I convinced him to email the manager and I hope that the fact that she followed up will look favorable for her.

She’s gotten stuck in feeling like she’s put out a whole lot of effort and can’t seem to get hired. It’s really tough because I can’t say much to cheer her up; she deflects everything I try to tell her.

I did realize that she didn’t really have any appropriate dresses or shoes to wear to interviews, so I had to order some. I really wasn’t wanting to spend more money (especially since I ended up spending quite a bit on Dylan) but it had to be done.

I really want to get my finances under control. I don’t think the kids really appreciate how much I’m doing for them. I think Chloe has a better idea but Dyl seems completely clueless. He ordered dinner for us when I took him back to school the other day and he actually asked me to pay him back for both of our meals.

I think I’m going to have to have a serious talk with him about money. I feel like we are sacrificing a lot so that he doesn’t have to work while in school but I don’t think he really understands how big of a deal that really is for us.

I’ve also spent over $600 on his cat, making sure she is healthy and getting her fur shaved down. I don’t know if he thinks that’s no big deal for us but it was.

I’m just feeling kinda salty about the sacrifices we’ve made for them and like they aren’t being appreciated. Maybe that’s because of other worries I have; I don’t know.

I do know that I worry a lot about money in general, especially because my husband’s health doesn’t seem to be doing well. I feel like I should be trying harder to save money but the kids always need something.

I’m hoping that it will pay off in the end and that they will remember the help they received, and maybe help repay it in kind somehow once they’re able. But for now, it just feels like I’m throwing away more money than I can really afford to and it sure would help a lot if they could contribute a little more.

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