The college kid comes home

Tomorrow I’ll be heading down to get my son from college to bring him back for Thanksgiving break. It will be good to see him again, though I’m always a little nervous about the drive.

I guess I’ve come a long way from the “me” of almost 8 years ago, when I drove from Michigan to Texas all by myself (and in a much less reliable car, no less.)

My son turned 19 yesterday and it was the first time he celebrated a birthday away from us. That felt a bit weird, to be honest.

I’m not sure what it’s going to be like when I pick him up tomorrow. Lately, he hasn’t even responded to my messages every day and I feel more distance between us. I don’t know if that’s because he’s having too much fun or if he’s having too many worries and doesn’t want to burden me with them. I guess I’ll find out tomorrow.

My oldest daughter told me she got a new job that she starts on Monday. I’m really excited for her and I hope it will be a good fit for her. She’s going to be the “director of first impressions,” which is basically a fancy title for receptionist and executive assistant.

I’m honestly totally thrilled that she got such a traditionally female job. And I think it will play to a lot of her strengths, like being friendly and organized.

Chloe has an interview next week at Starbucks, too. I really hope she gets it. It will be her first time interviewing where she presents herself as female. I hope it goes better than her past interviews have, which were for jobs that she didn’t get. But for those, she was still presenting as male and I suspect that her discomfort with herself was palpable in the interviews.

I’m still worried about my husband’s health, of course. But there’s nothing I can really do about it. I don’t know what the future holds at all. I’m scared of it, to be honest.

Really, all I want is to feel like we still have some good times left. Not knowing if we do or not kind of drives me insane, teetering on the edge of the unknown.

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