Better days

Yesterday was a better day than the one before it.

In my last post, I was pretty certain that my husband’s cancer was not responding to chemo and he’d have to go back on the oxaliplatin. But it turns out that I am not as much of a genius at interpreting CT scan results as I thought I was, which is a very good thing.

He spoke with his oncologist about the CT results and long story short, the chemo IS working and he doesn’t have to go back on the oxaliplatin yet.

He does have a spot on his lung (which has been making him have a chronic cough since his last surgery in February) but the oncologist said it’s not cancerous. But they’re still going to run some tests and find out what’s causing it.

He also gets to postpone his treatment later this month by a week so that we can help our son move into the dorms.

Maybe, just maybe, my husband will still be around long enough to see our son graduate from college (and then some.)

It’s kind of funny because denial is how I deal with a lot of things, especially painful things. (I guess I can’t criticize my parents for this trait if I have it too, can I? Or is the blame squarely on them because they obviously taught it to me?)

But I think I was coping better with my husband’s cancer when I was still largely in the land of denial. He’s alive now. He won’t always be and I’m not naive enough to think otherwise. But for now, I’m just going to try to enjoy having him here and stop worrying about the future when he won’t be.

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