Sometimes I just have weird dreams and I have to figure out what they mean. Other times, though, their meaning is perfectly clear.
Last night was one of those times when the meaning of a dream was crystal clear. I had a dream that I was back in Michigan but my home was still in Texas and I was trying to get back here.
It was late August and there were news reports that we might need our winter coats soon. (To be fair, we rarely needed them before September or even October.) I just remember that I was wailing because it barely seemed like we had a summer and it seemed so unfair that it was already over.
The other thing in my dream was that I was at a small meat and produce store that was kind of a big deal in my town and people were excitedly talking about the new autumn caramel apple beer being out already. And once again, I was just distraught about summer being over already even seemingly before it ever began.
The meaning of the dream is obvious: I can’t go back to Michigan after my husband is gone. So many of the people in Michigan are perfectly happy there. They don’t mind the short summers and can tolerate the long winters.
But I am not one of those people. I wasn’t when we moved back there last time, either, and my mistake was in believing that I could be.
I’m also a city person, through and through. At the very least, I need to be in the suburbs, if not the city itself. If J and I could choose where we wanted to go on vacation (and we didn’t have to go visit family), we would choose to visit another big city somewhere else. Neither one of us are the kind of people who want “to get away from it all.”
Sometimes I need my dreams to remind me of who I really am. While in many ways it would be easier just to pack up when my husband’s gone and go back home, I know I wouldn’t be any happier there than I was before. One way or another, I have to find a way to make it work in the city, even if I’m on my own.