One mistake I made recently was on my taxes. Somehow I accidentally made an error and long story short, we’re getting less than a thousand back, rather than multiple thousands. While it would have been nice to get that much of a jump start on our goals, we’ll just have to reach them through hard work instead.
I’ve fallen back into the old, bad habit of beating myself up for my mistakes and failures. I know that’s the depression taking over again. Between the effects of Abilify withdrawal and then my husband’s surgery and the weather crisis, it’s all really knocked me for a loop.
On that note, it’s also really a shame that I figured out it was Abilify causing my out of control spending, because it really was helping my depression a lot. My self-control is much better again but now I’m struggling to learn how to manage my depression without it.
One very, very simple thing I’ve been doing, which surprisingly does help, is focusing on self-compassion. I’m consciously slowing down and interrupting my train of thought when it starts going to that unhelpful place where I blame myself excessively for my mistakes and failures.
I ask myself if I would blame my kids, for example, if they made the kinds of mistakes I make. And of course I wouldn’t. I have so much empathy and compassion for others but usually none for myself.
It’s time to start changing that.