Where I’ve been

Lots of exciting events happening here, some of which I can’t talk about yet. I’ve mentioned before about how toxic I think it is to keep secrets and how bad I am at it, so it’s driving me a bit crazy to have to sit on this one. But well, I knew my daughter was transgender for six years before she officially came out, so I guess I can be good at keeping things quiet when I need to.

It’s been a busy week. I’ve had a lot of writing deadlines, which will be a good thing once I start getting paid for the work I’ve just done. Thankfully, all my clients right now are good about paying me on time.

I’ve also needed a lot of naps this week as my body is still recovering from taking my daughter to Austin last week for the name change stuff. I’m proud of her initiative this week in trying to get more stuff switched over to her new legal name.

J and I also had a good week, trying to cram in as much quality time together as we could before he started chemo again. He just started back on the old regimen he took last year and already it seems so much better than it was in pill form. It’s a huge relief to me that he doesn’t seem to be suffering to the degree that he did on the pills.

I also finally got a doctor to prescribe me the low-dose naltrexone I’ve been wanting to try for my MS. I’ve read of a lot of people with MS who have really seen benefit from taking this and I hope I will, too.

In that, I guess I’m committing for now to taking the natural approach to treating my MS and I feel good about that decision. The only meds left to me are immune-modulating ones that come with the risk of more respiratory infections and I just can’t take that risk with my husband on chemo.

I’m also committing to the dietary changes while I wait for the results of my allergy tests. But I’ve already figured out that both dairy and gluten make me feel like shit. Given that they’re two of the most inflammatory types of food and MS is caused by inflammation, it makes sense to give them up. But it also leaves me wondering what I’ll eat instead. In this sense, I think it would be easier just to try to prepare food for myself rather than planning family meals around it.

I’m also thinking a lot about what kind of career I’ll want after I’m off disability. I’m thinking about that in terms of when, not if, so I suppose that represents some progress. I’m definitely not there yet, though—especially not when I need so many naps.

Overall, I’m just trying to find a new rhythm. Some of the changes really intimidate me (probably most of them) but I’m trying to look at them with hope.