My daughter and I went down to Austin last week on an overnight trip so she could go bright and early in the morning to legally change her name and gender. It went much more smoothly than either of us expected, thanks to some tips I got from a friend.
Now she has also changed her driver’s license and applied for a new social security card with her new name and gender. She also updated her car insurance and just going from male to female significantly lowered her rates.
I feel like I’m supposed to feel more than I do about the change but mostly I just feel relief that it’s finally done. It took almost 7 years from the time she first told me she was transgender to actually making it legal and official.
I think that what suddenly lit a fire under her is the fact that she’s gotten really serious about looking for work. She should find out soon if she got a pretty good job in IT. The process of her being out of work for so long has really tested my usual philosophy of being fairly hands-off with my adult kids and with her in particular.
I know that she won’t do anything until she feels ready and all the pressure in the world won’t make things happen any faster. In some cases, it has the opposite effect. But man, has it been challenging this time to take the hands-off approach. I do still have control-freak tendencies, after all, though they’re less pronounced than they once were.
Interestingly, on an only marginally related note, I also discovered what my limitations are with my MS. When I need to push myself, I can, like with the late night and early morning in Austin. But days later, I’m still feeling the effects and still needing more naps than usual again.
All in all, I’m just really relieved that this long process is finally over. Hopefully she can live her life in peace and harmony now that this is done.