My post about BPD and relationship issues continues to be my most-viewed post and I thought I’d offer additional resources and thoughts about it.
There’s a really good article in The Mighty today about the suicide risk in BPD and how to fight it. The Mighty has a really good community for people dealing with this issue so I’d recommend checking it out if that applies to you.
The most important thing I think people with BPD need to realize is that the crisis feelings will pass. And Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) can teach you the tools to help. It was developed by a therapist with BPD who was frustrated with the lack of understanding and good available help for people with the disorder.
Remember that people still love you even if your rage has made them step away. You are inherently worthy of love.
Seeking treatment will help you feel more worthy of that love and it can improve your relationships with others. You just need to learn the tools and be disciplined about using them. I say “just” as though it’s an easy thing but I know that it’s not.
You may fail sometimes and revert to old behaviors, especially during times of distress. Forgive yourself and ask for forgiveness from the people you hurt. Then get back on the train of healthier habits again.
Eventually, with enough time and practice, the skills become easier to use, more like second nature. You will be able to slow down and assess your reactions and change your behaviors so that it’s not so destructive to your relationships.
You just have to believe that you can do it. You’re not a lost cause. Just keep trying and let the people you love know that you understand the problem and are working on it.
You may find more acceptance than you expect. And even if you don’t, keep trying anyway. Don’t give up on yourself. You’re not hopeless or doomed to repeat the cycle forever.
In addition to DBT, schema therapy by Jeffery Young has shown goof effectiveness for BPD and other personality disorders.
Thanks for that! I was not familiar with schema therapy.