Having a little hope

There are a few small encouraging signs of hope regarding my disability.

One, I’m afraid to even mention this bizarre fluke, but somehow we still have health insurance. It wasn’t canceled and it was supposed to be. I’ve still picked up prescriptions which were covered, which was how I figured it out. I made some calls to find out about our coverage and our insurance company said there has been no change to our coverage.

It could end at any time and I’m expecting that, but it’s really nice for now. Our oldest needed some dental work done and maxed out last year’s plan benefits and needed to get more done this year. Since we still have coverage, he’s able to get that done. I’m also going to try to get into a neurologist within the month if I can, now that I know what types of things I’m supposed to be telling doctors about my real issues. (In other words, not gloss over them and say everything’s fine when it isn’t.)

I scheduled my neuropsych exam for next week and it is going to be an all-day thing. Maybe two days, the doctor said. But even though my attorney said the neuropsychologist normally charges up to $1200 and doesn’t take insurance, we got lucky yet again: he’s only going to charge us $200.

I have to admit that my biggest worry is that he’ll find that I’m just fine and my functioning is great. But knowing that it won’t be $1200 is a serious answer to prayer, because we just couldn’t have afforded that.

We also got a settlement check in the mail today from a class-action lawsuit directed toward our old mortgage company in Michigan. Yeah, we got screwed over big time in the sale of the house. The mortgage company themselves did us really dirty. We knew it, but figured we’d just move on, put it behind us. When we got something in the mail about a class-action suit against them for exactly the same behavior they did to us, we shrugged and sent in the card to include us. The checks we got weren’t huge — maybe half a car payment — but they couldn’t have come at a better time.

I’m starting to think God’s really got our backs on this one. Just in our lives in general right now. Things are so scary and uncertain, with having a shortfall in income because I can’t work much anymore and because my husband needs a new job ASAP. I keep applying for more freelance jobs and not getting them, even ones that I would have been a shoo-in for before. And I’m just not getting more work.

But my husband and I are praying together every night again. We used to do that a couple years ago but then stopped. Already it seems like our needs are being met. We’re being very responsible with everything we have, of course. But right now we have almost all the bills for the month paid already and more money in savings than we’ve had in years.

Things actually seem like they’re going to be okay. I just have to trust that they are and not get discouraged or caught up in my worries. That’s a remarkably good feeling.

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