Coming clean

Getting off all my meds that I was taking for MS symptom relief is definitely making me feel clearer by the day. Many of my cognitive symptoms are already gone and I’m not so easily confused anymore, although it’s also possible that the dramatic turn toward cooler weather is also helping.

That said, getting off all those meds (about six) at once is no joke. I went cold turkey on all of them except the klonopin, which has to be tapered off extremely slowly and may affect me negatively for months. But even the other medications are making me feel pretty awful as my body adjusts to not having them. I’ve felt like I had the flu, with dizziness, sweating, and body aches. Fortunately, those symptoms are lessening in intensity each day.

The good news is that I’ve mentioned before that I’m in a new phase of my life, where I feel like I’m shedding what doesn’t work and “leveling up” (so to speak). Being able to think more clearly and feel healthier as a result of not being on so many medications is making me feel a lot more empowered, like I’m breaking out of some of the shackles that were tying me down.

I’ve let go of a few relationships and friendships that weren’t healthy for me. At the same time, I have doubled down and invested more into the relationships and friendships that matter to me the most.

I’m finally getting a better sense of who I am and what I’m about. I am tired of trying to fit myself into socially-acceptable boxes or pretending to be different from who I really am.

Now that I can think more clearly and no longer feel as sick, it has really taken away the majority of my fear about the future. Suddenly I feel like one way or another, everything really is going to be okay in the end.

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